by Bisi Ojediran

Nigerians seem to have borrowed the policy of the monkey in their expectations from annual budgets of the Federal Government. “Seeing is believing” is in fact so strong in the monkey kingdom that it is the origin of the proverb “the talisman of the monkey is its eyes.”

Year after year, Nigerians a regaled with promises of socio-economic development and better life that are only partially or never fulfilled. The gradual loss of interest in budgets by many Nigerians is therefore a natural development. It gets worse on the ironies in the budget: Some people, who are favoured by budgetary votes, tend to be the same people to sabotage it.

It is why although the N4.07 trillion 2010 budget makes glowing promises and even assurances, some people are not moved. Under normal circumstances, the following assurance by government should provide a high dose of relief: “We remain committed to transforming the socio-economic fortunes of our people by implementing a strategic plan for stimulating economic growth and launching the nation onto a trajectory of sustained development that will propel Nigeria to the top twenty economies in the world by the year 2020.”

But no, in the present atmosphere of fading hope, this is looking like a hard sell.

However, if the budget I describe as focused is viewed from the following perspective, it could be a more convincing document of intentions. I will acknowledge some of the challenges here, but strip all the grammar and political jargons and you have a budget to pay salaries and debts, and to resuscitate collapsed national infrastructure.

That is why I am attracted to this section of the document: “Accordingly, the 2010 Budget provides about 90 per cent of MDAs’ capital expenditure to five key priority sectors, namely Critical Infrastructure; Human Capital Development; Land Reform and Food Security; Physical Security, Law and Order; and the Niger Delta. Priority has also been given to key initiatives that would further bridge critical infrastructural gaps to reduce the cost of doing business in Nigeria….”

Although these sectors could use more funds, I am of the strong view that if concerns for infrastructure development translate into their speedy rehabilitation, the multiplier effects will be felt by all other sectors. This will be reflected in national productivity and employment. And hopefully the growth targets would be achieved.

In addition to the above, other priority areas should be a sound banking industry to ease credit flow to fuel the economy, macro-economic stability and the speedy recovery of the stock market.

Functional infrastructure (electricity supply and transportation), easy access to credit and a virile stock market would be low-hanging fruits or deliverables to ease the pain in the land and make Nigerians believe again in government. Not all that 2010 mumbo–jumbo. No, not now. Let’s see improvement in our living standards first.

Luckily, the economic outlook of 2010 painted by the Ministry of Finance contains some of these essential deliverables. It says among other things that “the macroeconomic environment is expected to further gain additional momentum and there will be enhanced real GDP growth performance in view of on-going and envisaged sectoral reforms.

“The stock market has shown some recovery and this is expected to be sustained (by the implementation of reforms designed to improve effectiveness of market regulation, oversight and supervision as well as corporate governance)

“The value of naira is expected to continue to stabilize, as oil prices continue to recover and investors return to the Nigerian economy, and the moderation in inflation is expected to be sustained…”

But, sadly the ironies in the budget could kill its dreams: A nation in desperate need of growth does not show much seriousness if it allocates about 50 per cent of total spending to recurrent expenditure with only 33.5 per cent to capital expenditure. With the politics of 2011 in the air, there are even fears that spending may not be done according to plan.

It is also distressing that the National Assembly is to spend N127.7 billion during the year. The N26 billion voted for travelling by legislators is insensitive to national growth aspirations. And yet, it is the body that nearly stalled the presentation of the budget, even if they were manipulated as it is being speculated. It is hoped that this time they would not shout for funding of constitutional projects after the hidden emergency declared in the budget for resuscitating national infrastructure. I share the view of former Secretary-General of the Commonwealth Chief Emeka Anyaoku that governance should be made less expensive to free resources for national economic growth.

Also, a large component of the recurrent expenditure is meant for the payment of civil servants and their political bosses. These are people who have secured jobs inspite of the economic downturn. They are people whose offices are lit by generators purchased from the same budget. Ironically, they are the people who are unanimously blamed for the poor budget implementation of the budget. Out of the N785.4 billion voted for capital projects in the 2008 budget, only 22.71 per cent was spent. From a low level of about 20 per cent in the first quarter of this year, utilisation was about 50 per cent as at the end of October.

Challenges, ironies and all, one thing is clear: Nigerians want to see results. Let’s go for the low-hanging fruits now.

Tiger Woods and Other Stories

I have come to respect TMZ.com, a celebrity publication, for its accuracy in reporting, especially the Michael Jackson death stories. So when it linked Tiger Woods’ automobile accident near his house to marital problems, I developed more than a passing interest in it. Another global model was about to fall.

Although Tiger and Rachel Uchitel, a New York nightclub hostess, were trying to kill rumours of their relationship, I suspected the story would not end there.

In my view, sports stars with virility fired by high testosterone and always in dire need of unusual relaxation from high concentration tend to be easy targets of temptation at fun spots.

I therefore did not doubt it when news broke that Tiger has had a 31-month-long affair with a 21-year-old cocktail waitress, Jaimee Grubbs. Grubbs had photos, racy messages and a Nov. 24 voicemail allegedly from Woods, in which he suggests his wife, Elin Nordegren, may know about the alleged affair. Grubbs told a magazine she met Woods at a Las Vegas nightclub the week after the 2007 Masters—two months before Woods’ wife, Elin, gave birth to their first child.

There was no denying all that. Tiger promptly confessed and apologised to his family. But he may have put his billion-dollar brand in jeopardy. His reputation has also taken a massive hit, but most painful is his crippling inability to play the role model he once was to many golf lovers and youths around the world.

The squeaky clean Tiger Woods in the popular Accenture adverts has now been tarred. And with reports that Elin is receiving some heavy payouts to stay in the marriage, there could be more secrets. Reports yesterday added Mindy Lawton a Florida cocktail waitress, two women in Britain, and a Cori Rist to the list. Another model has obviously bitten the dust by the power of sex.

But Tiger is not the only athlete to be tarred by sexual scandals. Below are some other confirmed cases from internet sources:

Michael Jordan: On July 21, 2006, a Cook County, Illinois judge determined that former Chicago Bulls guard Michael Jordan did not owe his alleged former lover Karla Knafel $5 million. Jordan had allegedly paid Knafel $250,000 to keep their relationship a secret.

David Beckham: In 2004, personal assistant Rebecca Loos reportedly said that an affair with soccer star David Beckham left her “breathless” and “very happy.” Sarah Marbeck, a model who also claimed an affair with Beckham, was described in The Sun as “a high-class hooker.”

Steve McNair: Steve McNair, a Tennessee Titans quarterback on Oct. 16, 2000, was found dead July 4, 2009, with multiple gunshot wounds. Police said a pistol was discovered near the body of 20-year-old Sahel Kazemi, also shot dead in the Nashville condominium. Police have concluded that the married father of four died at the hands of his girlfriend in a murder-suicide double-shooting.

Rick Pitino: The Louisville basketball coach made a public apology concerning his involvement in a scandal after news broke that he told police he and Karen Sypher had sex on a table at a Louisville restaurant six years ago.

Steve Phillips: ESPN baseball analyst Steve Phillips admitted on Oct. 21, 2009, to having an affair with an assistant at the cable network who reportedly taunted his wife with phone calls. Phillips was later fired by the network.

Marv Albert: TV and radio sportscaster Marv Albert became the focus of media frenzy in 1997, when he went on trial for felony charges of forcible sodomy.

Patrick Ewing: New York Knicks center testified in 2001 that he had sex with two dancers at Atlanta’s Gold Club, one of the city’s most prominent strip clubs, bringing in millions of dollars a year and attracting athletes, celebrities and other wealthy patrons.

Denny Neagle: Colorado Rockies pitcher Denny Neagle was found engaged with a prostitute and three days later caught speeding while drunk. The incident was a public humiliation for Neagle and ended his marriage.