by Banji Adisa

MONDAY’S turn of events is not unexpected. We’re back on a familiar road that we, as a people, have travelled often. One wonders whether we have collectively lost our sense of values, the form that wordsmith Prof. Wole Soyinka, a Nobel Laureate, would see as moral recession. Incidentally, we never get weary of such travel although the past efforts have not taught us much or have hardly brought out anything worthwhile. The people are, instead, inflicted more pain.

It was not surprising therefore the decision of the government to investigate the books of the Local Organising Committee (LOC) of the just concluded FIFA Under-17 World Cup fiesta. According to Vice President Goodluck Jonathan, the exercise would assist the government to determine whether all funds spent or were claimed to have been spent were in accordance with the laid down guidelines on expenditure. Fine, all we are saying is that the proposed probe must not end up as another wild goose chase. The country is tired of probes of which reports would end up in the dust bin or would be kept in the coolers for as soon as the uproar subsides and the dust settles. As usual, the report finds its way to the archives.

Nobody has been accused of fraud or found guilty yet, so let’s give the officials the benefit of doubt, for now. However, if the searchlight reveals what is being suspected, culprits must be made to face the law. If anyone is found culpable, the state must first recover whatever is misappropriated and the interest due on the money, besides the penalties prescribed by the law.

I must confess I am beginning to have some faith in the system if the Georges of this world we see as untouchables in our midst are cooling their heels behind bars – in our lifetime! That singular conviction of the PDP topnotch may be a proverbial drop in the ocean but it goes a long way in a corruption-ridden system as this. (I hope it is not too early singing redemption songs)?

We may as well ask for the umpteenth time what happened to the probe report of the finances of the All Africa Games, COJA 2003, which many see as the mother of all mismanagements in sports competition organisation, monumental in nature according to an elderly observer. The report has never seen the light of day, let alone punishing anybody for some misdemeanor. In similar vein, so much noise was made about fund (mis)management after the world youth championship a decade ago – Nigeria ‘99.

A deduction can be safely made here that the sports industry must be very lucrative indeed for free public money, if probes are always instituted after each tournament the country hosts. (Is that why some of our colleagues in the media fight tooth and nail to be part of those committees anytime a major sports competition is about to be hosted by government)?

With the latest development, government may have to look more closely at the sports industry. Could it be that availability of uncontrolled funds is why some people have turned the sports ministry to a no-go area for competitors for office? They have seemingly turned themselves into tin gods or have turned the place into a cult-like enclave?

Naturally you would expect misgivings about finances whenever an international sporting event is staged, especially because we distrust ourselves and particularly because many of us see our choice to positions of responsibility as public fund managers as the opportunity to turn our fortunes around for good, forever. Service to the people is no longer the watchword – it becomes a secondary issue.

I believe the government has taken the right step, considering the circumstances about the hosting of the competition – the government’s initial reluctance to be lured into accepting a N35 billion project we were told it would cost to host the world for a cadet tournament. Cutting the bill to nine billion naira by President Umaru Musa Yar’Adua did not even deter the organizers. The cut was accepted unconditionally, with both hands as they say. Let us for a moment imagine that the N35 billion or something close to that was approved! The free-for-all party would have been interminable.

By the time the global youth championship started, government was forced to accept additional bills to avoid Nigeria being labeled a failed state in organizing an ordinary youth competition. By then, government’s situation had become like a mounted tiger the rider dare not dismount – the world was already here and the inspired youths were already chasing the round leather ball in search of honour for their countries. The released fund shot up to about N12.1 billion.

Trust Nigerians. There were loud murmurings about unpaid bills or services by the LOC. This might have forced the sports minister to write formally to the LOC chairman and to threaten that no further releases would be entertained until previous disbursements were retired. Somebody must have smelt a rat somewhere and quickly moved to check a possible large-scale fraud. That was about two weeks already into the youth fiesta.

That was not all. It was revealed that even many of the committees and the sub seats of the LOC were yet to be fully funded for their activities to make the tournament hitch free. The LOC was in default to the tune of millions of naira to the committees and sub seats crying for funds to avoid shame.

A number of questions are bound to be asked on the untidy operations of the LOC. Were the sub seats meant to be starved of necessary funds by some influential persons in the LOC to give the impression that they are good account managers when there were services to be rendered by their appointed officials overseeing the units? Were the rules being followed in withholding money at certain stages of the show to check abuse? With the hiccups experienced in logistics during the games, what purpose would the funds serve after the event?

Again, if the sub seats were being denied funds, why was the LOC asking government for more money (after the first tranche of N9 billion) when it had not exhausted the previous allocations? I think the vice president and his team of investigators have a lot to do to unravel this money matter, knowing fully well that there might be attempts to cover up tracks even if the best auditors in the world are employed to assess the expenditures. The most important thing is that the country must have back the unspent allocations.

Queues at filling stations

For goodness sake, how long will the citizens cope with the pain of dry pumps at filling stations across the country, in a land of plenty? The irony is that even in non-oil producing countries, consumers do not suffer this hardship that is forced into our throats at every turn. Worse still, buck-passing would never allow you to determine where the truth lies. Is it the fault of the NNPC or the DPR(Department of Petroleum Resources)? To think that all this is happening in a country that has a leader is symptomatic of insensitivity.

It’s only in a country of shylocks that at the speculation of a date to commence government’s planned deregulation, fuel stations that still have sizeable stocks close shop in anticipation of more gain. It is only here that some warped minds calculate that fuel station gates should be closed to motorists on the eve of the conclusion of the Under-17 World Cup because the government can announce its decision to deregulate the market since any fear of strike by the labour movement in protest is removed.

By the way, can’t the government stop dilly-dallying over the so-called deregulation?

by Reuben Abati

IT is 50 years since Nigerian writer, T (imothy) M (ofolorunso) Aluko published his novel, One Man, One Wife; the celebration that has been organised around the event reminds us again of the growth of the novel form in post-colonial Africa and the place of the novel in the definition of the African experience. Although Aluko had been writing short stories since the 1940s, winning a British Council short story prize in 1945, it was the publication of One Man One Wife, initially under the imprint of Nigerian Printing and Publishing Co. Ltd in 1959, that first brought him considerable public attention. In 1967, One Man One Wife was re-issued under the Heinemann African Writers Series, the series edited by Chinua Achebe, which more than anything else provided a platform for the promotion of writing and literacy in Africa and the growth of the African literary form and aesthetics.

Last year, Achebe’s classic offering, Things Fall Apart which ranks as one of the most successful novels written in the 20th century also reached the golden age of 50. Aluko’s literary oeuvre may be less celebrated than the works of Achebe, Soyinka, Ngugi, Ayi Kwei Armah and may not draw the kind of excitement that is associated with the current offering by the grandchildren and great grandchildren generation of African literary artists, but his remains a significant contribution to the development of the African novel. Born in 1918, now 91, T. M. Aluko in celebrating 50 years of One Man One Wife in his home at Ladipo Oluwole Street, Apapa, Lagos on Monday, November 9, also celebrates invariably more than 50 years of hardwork in the literary vineyard. This has produced such works as One Man, One Matchet, Kinsman and Foreman, Chief the Honourable Minister, His Worshipful Majesty, Wrong Ones in the Dock, Conduct Unbecoming, My Years of Service, First Year at State College, and The Story of My Life.

To mark the 50th anniversary of One Man One Wife, T. M. Aluko, this week, also presented to the public his latest work of fiction titled Our Born Again President (HEBN, 2009), which is the subject of the remaining part of this commentary. Originally an engineer, retiring in 1988 as a Consultant Engineer, after decades of service as Director of Public Works in the Western Region and Associate Professor of Public Health Engineering at the University of Lagos, Aluko reports in The Story of My Life that “growing the crops… and fiction writing (p. 312).” are his hobbies. It is for the latter, not farming, not engineering definitely, that he will be most remembered. His continuing productivity in his 80s and 90s (he published The Story of my Life, in 2006 when he was 88 and now Our Born Again President at 91) should inspire the younger generation of writers who across Africa are now confronted with a long list of elderly writers whose literary imagination remains active (Chinua Achebe, Nadine Gordimer, John Pepper Clark, Nawal el Saadawi, Wole Soyinka, Ngugi wa Thiongo, Gabriel Okara, Elechi Amadi etc).

T. M. Aluko’s novels present a certain thematic consistency in terms of the author’s pre-occupation with issues of conflict between tradition and modernity, identity, religion and the individual in society, corruption and value systems. His societies are transitional societies (One Man One Wife, One Man One Matchet, Chief the Honourable Minister, His Worshipful Majesty) but his bias is on the side of change and modernity, although ironically even when his females appear strong and influential, they are nevertheless victims of unreconstructed traditional chauvinism. The same trend is sustained in Our Born Again President. In the 60s and 70s, many African writers focussed on the challenges of the post-colonial state as the novel became the vehicle for analysing new realities, leadership challenges and the crisis of expectations.

Our Born Again President follows the same pattern decades later with a more contemporaneous edge. There are no radical departures, no startling surprises, or sleight of hand. It is typical Aluko. The setting is Riviera, an African country, looking forward to independence from British colonial rule within six months. The protagonist is David Tanbata, the Premier of Riviera, and leader of the Independence for Riviera Now Party, who is accused of conflict of interest, corruptly enriching his wife and uncle and is asked by the British Governor to tender his resignation. American-trained Tanbata, nursing and espousing an ingrained disdain for all things British, manages to outsmart the British establishment relying on extended family sentiments, Old Boys Association network, blackmail, and the rigging of elections in which the crookedness of the local elite is well displayed.

Tanbata ends up as President, Riviera gains its independence, Sir Angus MacFarlane, the representative of Her Majesty’s Government learns a few compulsory lessons about power, but the future of the newly independent nation is uncertain as it grapples with a conflict of values between the past and the present and an unknown future. It is well known that the set of African elites that took over power immediately after independence proved to be worse than their colonial predecessors, creating in the African continent, a dilemma: freedom brought the people little or no progress with the new ruling class interested in power for its sake. The Tanbata administration upturns the British legacy only to replace it with a system-wide acceptance of corruption as a mode of life. This essentially, is what the novel deplores.

The abuse of the press as an official megaphone and its rather contradictory role in society is further exposed. However, the only voice of reason is Peter Bolade, Pastor of the Mount Carmel Pentecostal Church who turns the pulpit into a stinging forum of reason, condemning the new Government’s attempt to change the official oath to reflect an invocation of local gods: Shonponon, Sango and Ogun rather than the Christian God that the British left behind. This conflict of choice between tradition and modernity, between traditional worship and Christian religion bears echoes of T. M. Aluko’s One Man, One Wife, and His Worshipful Majesty as much as it describes the conflict between religion and the state that has been a major subject in post-colonial African societies and literatures.

But the story suddenly changes when David Tanbata, drug dealer, election rigger, womaniser and the foxy leader of Riviera decides to give his life to Christ, at the same Mount Carmel church led by his arch-critic. The rest of the narrative is devoted to his life after the sermon at Mount Carmel, doubts about his Saul-like conversion, his decision to return ill-gotten wealth to the state, the rebellion by his party members in parliament and their attempt to send him on compulsory leave to purge him of his newly acquired madness, his victory at a referendum, and surprising efforts at reform which includes a return to the same old colonial and Christian values that he had rejected.

But the novel soon falls flat as the rest of the narrative begins to focus on a review of Tanbata’s past dalliances, the disappearance of his mistresses and their incoherent letters, and his embrace of Christian piety celebrated in the return of his estranged former wife and the son he didn’t know he had: David Tanbata Jnr. In due course, the novel ends with the statement: “My dear people of God, this is the Lord’s doing and it is marvelous (sic) in our eyes”. One Man One Wife, whose 50th birthday coincides with the release of Our Born Again President had also ended with similar religiosity: “For the doings of the Lord our God are mighty wondrous.” In addition, strikingly, the high point of David Tanbata’s redemption is his embrace of the “one man one wife” Christian doctrine. Other leads that had been suggested in the story about the fight against corruption suddenly disappear, loose ends in the plot are left unresolved, and not much is heard again about Michael Atobatele, and the MD of Modern Finance Ltd., or the resolution of the students protest. The product is an uneven story, which nevertheless scores high in its portrayal of the uneasy relationship between state and civil society, corruption, the failure of the emergent African elite and the leadership system that produces them.

Tanbata’s being born again is slightly overdone as it smacks of evangelism. The author also appears too optimistic. The likes of Michael Atobatele, Josiah Akindiji and Stephen Craig, the thieving, double-faced hypocritical elements in the corridors of power and particularly Littleman John, the thug and kidnapper, share greater resemblance with reality than the less convincing David Tanbata, the born-again President. The born-again phenomenon is one of the key features of many post-colonial states in Africa, but in the real world, most leaders use being born again only as shield for greater recklessness. The change that is made possible in Our Born Again President remains elusive in the real world, a subject that had been explored at length in Aluko’s Chief the Honourable Minister, which also examines the crisis of leadership and corruption in post-colonial Africa.

Tanbata appears to be alone in his crusade. Long after the arrival of his true First Lady and son and his promise that he will not stray again, it remains to be seen how his reforms will play out, and whether the battle can be won by one man. There is an underlying hint though that Tanbata is a manipulative trickster, relying on popular gestures to win endorsement, but it is a possibility that is left unexplored after his conversion at Mount Carmel. T.M. Aluko’s characters are easily recognisable if not his optimism. He demonstrates once more, his ability to tell a story that sustains interest. He offers great insight into the emerging role, influence and contradictions of the Students Union Movement, the civil service and Pastors of the Pentecostal variety in post-colonial Africa in much the same manner as the Pastors in One Man One Wife and One Man One Matchet are spiritual and political figures.

But the production of the book to be fair is atrocious. The collapse of standards is the bane of the publishing industry in Nigeria. Careless editing and poor production pose a serious threat to the development of Nigerian literature. Heinemann Nigeria, the publishers of T.M. Aluko’s Our Born Again President do much disservice to the writer’s eminent stature by releasing in his name a book that is full of so many spelling errors. The name of the hero, Tanbata is mis-spelt in at least one instance, same with Riviera, the country. All through, the word cacophony is spelt as cocophony, gimmick as gymic and so on. The cure for this should be an immediate reprint.

In 1987, T. M. Aluko suffered a stroke, which left him paralysed in his right leg and right hand. In his The Story of My Life, he says, “this meant that I could no longer write…This was a frustrating experience for me particularly as a writer. There was no alternative but to start learning how to write with my left hand like a child learning how to write the alphabet for the first time. (p. 304)” He has since then published two books: the autobiography from which this quote is taken, and now Our Born Again President, and yet he uses neither a Dictaphone nor a laptop. Aluko’s doggedness is a statement in courage; the latest novel is a product of that strength of character in the face of adversity.

Narrow Escape

“Congratulations, my brother”

“Who win lottery?”

“Nigeria. Shake my hand. We are in the World Cup next year in South Africa. God has put a smile on our faces. We thrashed Kenya 3-2 and the Mozambicans helped us to beat Tunisia yesterday. What further proof do you need that God is on the side of Nigeria?”

“A nation of gamblers. Are you sure we really won fair and square? Or that our victory is a case of you rub my back, I rub yours? Mozambique needed us to beat Kenya. We needed Mozambique to help us beat Tunisia. I smell a rat.”

“Come on, try and be patriotic for once. When people do well, be nice enough to praise them.”

“Well, must our players give Nigerians hypertension all the time? Must we leave everything till the last minute? I am not excited that we have qualified for South Africa 2010. I am just emotionally exhausted.”

“Don’t worry. You will have greater cause to smile when the country’s Under-17 team takes the trophy of the FIFA U-17 World Cup.”

“Don’t count your chickens before they are hatched, mother told me.”

“No. We can count these ones. In fact, I can see the chickens growing into big birds already with fantastic wings. Have you not seen how the Eaglets have been playing since the Quarter Finals. Oh come on, Switzerland is a walk over. In fact, the pounded yam party can start right now.”

“You can talk so confidently because you know your Golden Eaglets are not in any way under-17. These are professional footballers. Under 30s! Adokie Amiesimeka who should know has already said so.”

“Why is it that Nigerians don’t like their country?”

“Some people just like the truth to be told. All the Under-17s that I know are in secondary school. These your Under-17 players, which secondary schools are they attending? Why are they not in school?”

“Is it every child that must go to secondary school? They have chosen to play football and that is it. And what of the other countries? Why are the players also not in school? Look, leave this matter about age.”

“I understand FIFA is conducting MRI test at last. Four players in each team selected at random. It will be disgraceful if at the end of the day, Nigeria is found to be one of the cheating teams and the country is publicly humiliated.”

“Don’t worry. MRI no dey catch Blackman.”

“But we can all see? When the Golden Eaglets kick the ball like this, you’d see that every shot is pounded yam and akpu assisted.”

“Plus ewedu and edikai nkong”

“Do you know what I think?”

“What?”

“Nigeria’s hosting of the U-17 should take the scam of the year award. Have you not heard that the Minister of Sports has had to direct that no further funds should be given to the Local Organising Committee (LOC), unless the N12.1 billion they have so far collected is accounted for?”

“I know.”

“But the LOC is not willing to do so. It is even owing service providers including the MTN.”

“I call for a probe.”

“More than a probe, I call for sanctions.”

“Other countries make money when they host international tournaments.”

“We have lost money”

“And we may lose face too.”

“Well, may be not. Jack Warner is our friend.”

by Reuben Abati

“MI’LORD has caught a big one. In fact not one, five. It is a wonderful day for Nigeria”.

“You always like to jubilate when someone falls on bad times. What’s the matter with you?”

“Why shouldn’t we jubilate? No, tell me, why shouldn’t we roll on the floor with laughter from rib to rib? When last did the long arms of the law catch up with big men who have mismanaged public resources? Madam Farida Waziri’s EFCC has been busy with too many cases in progress. Everyone who wanted progress with the anti-corruption war started yearning earnestly for Ribadu, the action-packed former Chairman of the EFCC. Now something big has happened”.

“I know. Mrs. Waziri has been beating her chest. President Yar’Adua must also be pleased”.

“But it is the judge that we should praise. He has shown courage and determination. It doesn’t matter what they do to him after this. He will be remembered for his courage in sending six big men to jail in one day, without the option of fine. What was it again? – the splitting of contracts, abuse of office, and disobedience of lawful orders.”

“Heavy matter”.

“And the whole matter took 14 months. The case began in August 2008 and now, it has been determined. Some other judges allow cases to drag on endlessly. And lawyers would be allowed to keep making frivolous applications just to delay the course of justice”.

“I hear this Oyewole is a no-nonsense judge. I recommend his example to other judges. Take a case, stay with it, do justice in record time”.

“You know for a moment, I thought Chief Bode George was going to get away. I mean the man is a big man in every sense of that word in Nigeria. Former Governor of Ondo State. Former Principal Staff Officer to the No: 2 man in the Abacha Government. National Deputy Chairman of the Peoples’ Democratic Party (South West). The topmost chieftain of the PDP in Lagos State. A friend of the one and only OBJ of the do-or-die politics fame. A judge looked at the man straight in the face and sent him to jail?”.

“They are already sewing his prison uniform at Kirikiri. Have you not heard? He will get it today. The moment he arrived, the prison authorities took his measurements. The law is no respecter of persons. Nobody is above the law. That is the good news in all of this.”

“Even those five others are big men. We are talking of Board members of the Nigerian Ports Authority and a former Managing Director of the NPA. The NPA is one of those lucrative departments. When a man is given a high position in a body like that, he throws a party”.

“But there is something about the case that I still don’t quite understand. I think there is an escape route for the NPA Six when the matter goes on appeal”.

“It doesn’t matter. What we know at the moment is that the men have been convicted. That is the position of the law. Did you not read that when Chief Bode George arrived at the Kirikiri Maximum Prison, one of the first inmates to welcome him was Major Hamza Al-Mustapha, Abacha’s Chief Security Officer who has been in that prison for nearly nine years”.

“Ten”

“Whatever”

“No condition is permanent, my brother”.

“I’d like to see more big men in jail. May be that will curtail their greed”.

“Like who and who?”

“Like all the ones whose cases are still pending.”

“Name one person”.

“I don’t want to be charged for contempt; only a Court of Law can determine who goes to jail”.

“You see? You are a coward. You don’t want to offend anybody”.

“Okay, you too, name somebody you think also deserves a prison uniform and a special welcome by Abacha’s CSO.”

“Walahi, prison no good o. So, where do you think they will keep Chief Bode George. Will they give him a VIP suite?”

“You think Kirikiri Maximum Prison is a five-star hotel?”

“I understand it is organised like one and you can stay in a VIP suite if the price is right. You may even get a chance to have your wife sneak in for an overnight stay, again if the price is right. This is Nigeria. Were you not in this country when the wife of a prominent prisoner took in while he was still in prison and it was reported that the pregnancy was his. At night, you may even be allowed to go home and return at dawn before anyone notices your absence”.

“One of these days, this your mouth will put you into trouble. But whether there is a VIP suite in prison or not, I don’t think Chief Bode George will find it funny”.

“I hear he is not taking prison food.”

“Don’t worry, he’d soon adjust.”

“But why are you talking about Chief Bode George? What about the other five?”

“This is Nigeria. Don’t be surprised if they are granted amnesty sooner than you think.”

“You think they will be granted bail pending the hearing of their appeal?”

“I suspect the men will be released at the Court of Appeal. I have been reflecting on the grounds of their conviction. Splitting of contracts, Abuse of office. Disobedience of lawful orders. These look to me like administrative irregularities. I mean when did a contract become an atom? Is Bode George a scientist turning contracts into atoms, and splitting them to create a bomb?”.

“Yes. A bomb of free cash. It swells the pocket, the mouth, the belly, and it can send a man to prison… Because public funds are involved, when you split contracts in order to top up prices, you are violating the law. This case should teach Board members of public institutions that if they abuse their fiduciary responsibilities, they may go to jail”.

“How will those big men look in prison uniform”

“That is not important. They don’t do fashion parade in prisons. A prison uniform is a prison uniform. One elewon is not different from the other”.

“Jesus Christ, the husband of widows!”

“I understand Chief Bode George’s supporters wanted to make trouble at the court premises. They became unruly, raining curses on the judge, and threatening journalists”.

“If they are not careful, they’d join their man in prison.”

“And to think Chief Bode George caused all this by suing The News magazine for libel. If he had known, he would have kept quiet.”

“It is like Jeffrey Archer and the UK Daily Star. Look, it simply means that big men should watch how they behave. A big man today can wear a prison uniform tomorrow. That is the way of the world”.

“Even if they sew prison uniform with damask, may my enemy never wear it”.

“Why? Your enemies should wear prison uniform. What kind of prayer is that?”

“You know I am a Christian. We are taught to pray for our enemies.”

“Well, don’t pray for people who split things that shouldn’t be split”.

“Like who?”

“Like the kidnappers of Pa Simeon Soludo, the father of Prof. Charles Soludo”.

“Prof. Chukwuma, please. He has retired his Charles.”

“Look, that is not important to me. What kind of country is this? Why would anyone kidnap a man, an old man, 78 years old, just because his son wants to be governor?”

“Some people’s wives and mothers have been kidnapped before now. And this is the second time they’d take Pa Soludo. When his son introduced banking consolidation as CBN Governor in 2006, and some banks lost their licenses, he was also abducted. He lost an eye during that incident”.

“It is a clear sign of Nigeria’s underdevelopment.”

“More like the failure of the Nigerian state.”

“It is obvious that certain elements are determined to intimidate Prof. Soludo, and frighten him”.

“The kidnappers are asking for N500 million.”

“What price must a man pay to be part of the Nigerian governance process”?

“Certainly not the life of a father.”

“It is called collateral damage, though”

“It is pure criminality and it should be condemned. It raises serious questions about human security.”

“This Nigeria tire me, no be small”.

“Look at what is happening with the U-17 football tournament that we are hosting. When other countries host such an event they end up making profit from ticket sales and endorsements. Nigeria is losing money. Other countries gain international recognition and pride, but Nigeria is ridiculing itself”.

“I hear FIFA is not happy with the Local Organising Committee. They are complaining about low turn-out at the stadium”.

“But I have seen some improvement this week”.

“Artificial improvement. To keep the tournament going, the Nigerian authorities are renting crowds to fill the stands”.

“I know”.

“For the Nigeria-Honduras match, 40,000 tickets were given out free to encourage spectators to come to the Abuja National Stadium”.

“In many of the centres, school children are taken out of school and forced to make up the numbers at the stadium, I don’t remember which match I was watching. It was around 7.30 p.m. and I saw these helpless children, secondary school pupils, watching a football match they probably were not interested in. That’s child abuse”.

“In Lagos, the state government provides free transportation to and from the stadium”.

“In Bauchi State, Governor Isa Yuguda is buying up all the tickets for the matches, and asking people to just come to the stadium. He is paying N20 million.”

“All the governors and Ministers who are buying up tickets for free distribution, I hope it is their personal funds they are spending. I really hope so.”

“It is not only the Nigerian authorities that are bribing the spectators. I read a story in the Nigerian Tribune about how the Italian U-17 team decided to distribute sweets and T-shirts to spectators.”

“Wonderful.”

“And trust Nigerians. They supported the Italians.”

“When are they going to serve food? I beg if you know where they are serving food, let me know.”

“Hungry man.”

“But you know, the biggest scandal of the U-17 tournament occurred on Wednesday in Enugu. It rained heavily and the Burkina Faso-New Zealand match had to be suspended. The artificial pitch was flooded. It became bloated.

“I saw it on television. I saw concerned officials using buckets to drain water from the pitch’

“Nobody used a plastic bucket. You sef?”

“You mean you did not see people frantically using towels to drain water? I saw people using knives and blades to rip the flooded pitch open”

“And that is a pitch that was specially imported and installed. Expensive installation.”

“You never know. May be someone split the contract, and the contractor had no option but to do a shoddy job.”

“It is a shame.”

“Don’t worry. Soon, it’d be over.”

“That thing I said about food, don’t forget eh/”

“Mr. Food.”

“I just want to split some dollops of pounded yam.”

“Don’t worry, you won’t end up in Kirikiri for that.”

by Reuben Abati

JACK Warner, the FIFA Vice-President who against all protestations even by the local Nigerian media and the evidence of his own eyes during pre-tournament inspection visits to the country still recommended that Nigeria should be allowed to host the FIFA U-17 soccer tournament is said to be complaining that Nigeria does not appear to be ready for the world. Jack Warner must be kidding. He can’t be serious! The tournament kicked off yesterday with matches in Abuja and Lagos. The first sign of Nigeria’s lack of preparedness is the absolute disinterest in the event by Nigerians. The Honduras-Argentina match was poorly attended. In Lagos, a small, but bigger crowd showed up for the Switzerland-Mexico match, and an even smaller crowd for the Brazil-Japan match. I asked around, most football fans were more interested in the English Premiership and the UEFA Champions League. You don’t get the impression that a big football event is going on in the country. Nigerians are just not excited by it. Which is unusual. Nigerians love football. And they are very hospitable people. But the poor management of the tournament from day one is a scandal foretold. Jack Warner should have known better. Each time he and his team visited Nigeria, they saw many loopholes. They didn’t require the services of a sorcerer to know that most of the things that needed to be fixed could not be taken care of so quickly. Jack Warner should therefore stop whining. He is quoted as having said that FIFA is known for “100 per cent performance in all its operations.” Sorry, this one ain’t going to be like that. And you could have avoided the embarrassment if you did your job as an independent assessor.

Within two days of the world arriving to play football in Nigeria, the failures have been grand. In Lagos, stewards who have been engaged to cater for the players staged a protest over their allowances. They alleged that the Nigerian authorities are offering them something far lower than the FIFA rate. Looks like someone or a cabal may be pocketing the difference. In Kano, the teams in that centre could not train due to the failure of the generating set at the Sani Abacha Stadium. Training pitches are also not ready across the country. In Bauchi, FIFA officials and guests were trapped in a lift at the Zaranda hotel. Was it also a case of power outage? The Mobilisation Committee for the tournament has not been able to hold the concerts it promised as scheduled. There are complaints also about the high cost of the tickets with the cheapest being N3, 000.

A member of the FIFA Executive Committee, a Nigerian has been quoted as saying there is no cause for panic. “In every human endeavour, things cannot be perfect but that is the standard of FIFA. Nigeria will rise to the challenge and I believe that this event will go on smoothly after the kick-off on Saturday.” He is wrong. The first day was a disaster. The LOC Director of Organisation also added: “We are ready and from Saturday, you will be amazed because the huge work of the LOC will fully manifest in this competition.” Huge work? Stupid. Tell that to the Marines. What huge work has been done that even Nigerians are not aware of the tournament? These two official spokespersons have betrayed an aspect of the Nigerian character: We do things at the last minute. We are never prepared. We gamble. To use a familiar phrase, we “wobble and fumble”. And we are wobbling very badly.

This is despite the fact that the Nigerian Premier League has had to be suspended for five weeks because FIFA has taken over all possible venues. Many Nigerians will not even miss the local league; it never existed in their calendar of sporting priorities. But did anyone watch the Honduras-Argentina match in Abuja yesterday? It was shown on television. Whoever got the broadcast rights couldn’t even show us good pictures on local television. And it rained in Abuja. And the pitch got terribly flooded. The two teams could have been playing water polo. The cynical cameramen recording the event kept showing puddles of water and the terribly sub-standard pitch. The Nigeria-Germany match had to be delayed to allow the water-soaked Abuja National Stadium pitch to drain off. FIFA had to compromise its time regulations in order to accommodate Nigeria which is most unusual! If the pitch was playable for Honduras and Argentina, and the match was not suspended, then the Nigeria-Germany match should have started as scheduled. And did you watch the Nigeria-Germany match? By the time the Germans who were more technically accomplished were two goals ahead before the end of the first half, Nigerian spectators started leaving the stadium. It was more than enough for a day of serious “wobbling and fumbling”. It didn’t quite matter that the match ended 3-3.

This is shameful more so as Nigeria’s hosting of the FIFA U-17 World Cup is coming shortly after Egypt’s hosting of the U-20 tournament. Egypt staged a grand event. Its organisation was superb. Both FIFA and the teams had no reason to complain. In Egypt, Ghana, the winners of the trophy showed that only serious countries excel on the world stage. Between 2009 and 2010, Africa is hosting all the three major FIFA soccer tournaments: U-20 (Egypt), U-17 (Nigeria) and the World Cup (South Africa). Ordinarily these are regarded as the three key countries in the continent. Egypt has already given a good account of itself. One year ahead of the World Cup, South Africa is ready. Well, almost. But no one is doubting its ability to host the world. Out of the three African countries, Nigeria looks like the only one that is set to disappoint the world. Blame Jack Warner, I insist. He didn’t need to expose FIFA and the U-17 to this kind of embarrassment. With the Nigerian authorities not geeting six stadia ready three months ago, he should have advised FIFA to take the tournament elsewhere. And the matter is even worse than we have seen on Day One. If care is not taken, some of the teams playing in Lagos may arrive late at the stadium because the main road to the Teslim Balogun stadium is still under construction in one of the toughest traffic hold up zones in Lagos. Let us also hope that the protesting stewards in any of the centres would also not abandon the kitchen and refuse to cater for the visiting players and officials.

This is one of those tacky situations that require the personal intervention of the President and Governors. Whatever can be done to improve the situation, let all the affected state Governors roll out the necessary logistics and work round the clock. If President Yar’Adua has to take charge of the Local Organising Committee personally, let him do so. There have also been complaints about transportation problems. What is wrong with Yar’çdua’s Nigeria? We can’t provide vehicles? But whatever happens, adequate security should be provided. I understand FIFA is complaining about heavy police presence particulary at the Lagos stadium. Those FIFA guys obviously don’t know that they are in Nigeria where “everything” is possible. No effort should be spared to protect the visiting teams from kidnappers. Can you imagine an U-17 footballer or official being kidnapped? I pray that does not happen. But with all the fumbling going on and earlier reports that the Local Organising Committee has already spent N9 billion, we should also ask: where did all the money go? Where is the money? What was it spent on? President Yar’çdua had initially rejected the huge budget proposal for hosting the U-17, but it now seems as if far more than the initial amount has been spent and yet we are forcing the young men from Honduras and Argentina to play water polo instead of football! When finally this tournament is over, since we are stuck with it, there must be proper accounting in the public domain. Hopefully by then, many of the sports writers who are now very busy serving in one committee of the LOC or the other will be ready to do their job and ask the right questions.

FIFA’s responsibility is to ensure in the long run that Jack Warner’s advice and Nigeria’s lack of preparedness still do not sabotage the objectives of the tournament: which is to identify and encourage young talents who will keep the game alive in the future. FIFA’s insistence on the MRI age test is well-advised. I have just read the interview by one Nigerian who once played in the U-17 tournament, a trophy that was won by Nigeria thrice, the fellow looked as if he is knocking 50 and yet it wasn’t so long ago that he was hailed as a genius at the U-17 level. His football career ended shortly afterwards while the likes of Ronaldinho and others have moved on to greater heights. It is FIFA’s duty to ensure that this is truly an U-17 event.